In Turkey, the offi­cial Sep­tem­ber fig­ures showed a rise of infla­tion by 24,5% over the past year. The price of toma­toes has doubled.

I talk about toma­toes so often you’ll think I nev­er eat any­thing else. In fact, since my pen­sion has lost a quar­ter of its val­ue, the oppo­site is true; I can’t afford them anymore.
This should please Erdoğan: even the price of eggs has gone up. Rot­ten toma­toes and eggs to throw at him? Too expensive!

And that’s before men­tion­ing the cost of trans­porta­tion, gas and pow­er! We’ll have to pull out the padded jack­ets for winter.

Con­sid­er­ing every­thing they tell us Turks about the Greeks, to live like one is a real joke.

I don’t under­stand much about these things, but I hear the cen­tral bank raised the inter­est rates in August and that caused the Turk­ish lira to rise on the Mar­ket. Not on mine, that’s for sure.

In the Reis’ fam­i­ly, the son-in law Berat holds the purse strings at the Stock Mar­ket. He’s asked busi­ness­men for a reduc­tion in pro­duc­tion costs or for per­son­al sac­ri­fices in low­er­ing the prices any­way.  Per­son­al­ly I think small busi­ness­es will shut down and the oth­ers will lay off workers…

In oth­er words, it’s turn­ing into “Be poor for the Nation’s sake”, “Against For­eign Plots”.

When, at the same time, I read that Turkey shines on the world stage because of its planes, bridges, roads, dams, air­ports, sol­diers, nuclear pow­er sta­tions soon, islamists, jails, Sau­di Ara­bi­an con­sulates, news rags, jour­nal­ists in jails, Russ­ian bud­dies, a geno­cide in the clos­et… I hark back to the words “the pride of being Turk­ish” with which the unem­ployed will warm them­selves soon.

There was a com­ic strip in France. I think it said some­thing like “The cri­sis, mehhh” and every­body laughed. Anoth­er said “And you think that’s fun­ny? Well, we’re the joke now as the peo­ple slosh around in Erdoğan’s brain.

And of course, with elec­tions com­ing up in March, AKP loy­al­ists and oth­er such big­ots will receive dis­tri­b­u­tions of coal and gas in their homes while our elect­ed mem­bers of par­lia­ment and jour­nal­ists freeze their tails off in jail. Who will become May­or of Istan­bul? Will the band leader dou­ble up those duties with his job as Pres­i­dent? That would mean chang­ing the con­sti­tu­tion again…

As for the lat­est sto­ry mak­ing the rounds – it’s not bad either. Have you heard of the new butch­er shop that’s just opened at the Sau­di Con­sulate? No? Appar­ent­ly tons of cats are lurk­ing around there, thanks to all the fresh meat.

I know, I know, none of this is very polit­i­cal, I kvetch, I insult the Leader gra­tu­itous­ly but for once I don’t have to pay. I’m enti­tled, no?

Illus­tra­tions :
Illus­tra­tions gra­cious­ly offered by Şilan.

Translation by Renée Lucie Bourges

Turquie • “Sois pau­vre au nom de la Patrie” Cliquez pour lire

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